Bing bang bosh, done.

There isn’t much in this world that makes me close my eyes in pure unadulterated pleasure, savoring every mouth-full, but this is one of those things. Should I have a “Death row meal”, it won’t be foie gras and lobster from Claridges that I would be asking for, it would be this. In my mind, I’ve always related this meal (or even just egg’n'chips) with something special, only having it 3 or 4 times a year. They’re so much better than ‘chippy’ chips, and don’t get me wrong, they have their place in the world, but then again, so does McDonalds.

Now, before I start with the nitty-gritty, I want you to be extra careful, you’re dealing with hot oil that can lead to a really really nasty accident, this is definitely lock-your-kids-out-of-the-kitchen stuff. Never, ever, leave boiling oil alone. Should a fire break out, damp a cloth under the sink, squeeze it dry, and place it over the pan/wok, covering the flame and cutting off the flame’s oxygen supply.

Ingredients and Equipment

• A deep Wok or saucepan for frying.
• About 1kg of ‘chipping’ potatoes, like King Edwards (Enough for 2 or 3 good portions)
• A nice Rib-eye steak.
• About one-and-a-half red onions
• Loads of sunflower Oil, about half a bottle.
• Japanese Seasoned Rice Wine Vinegar (take a peek at the photos for my favorite brand).
• Some salt and pepper
• A pan for frying the onions and steak (Naturally, the all mighty Griddle Pan would make the whole thing 17.5% nicer)
• A colander and deep dish.
• A little bit of Butter

How to go about making “The Best Meal Evah â„¢”

• Peal the potatoes (if you want, not important) and cut them into 1cm thick chips.
• Chop up the onions into strips
• Lots of salt’n'pepper on the steak
• If you’re cutting the potatoes in advance, leave them in a bowl and covered with water, to stop them blackening. About 20 minutes before you’re ready to cook, empty the chips into the colander and let them drip dry(ish)
• Fill up the wok or pan about half way with oil and put on a medium-high heat. After about 5 minutes, drop one of the chips in, it should give a satisfying sizzling sound, if it does, put in about half the chips… be careful with this though, don’t over-fill the wok. You can always do two batches. If you are doing it in two batches, you can semi-pre-fry this beforehand… if you do that, don’t put them into the water as above, and you should fry them until they turn from white to yellow.
• Pour some butter into the frying pan (not the wok) and sweat down the onions for about 10-15 minuites, then take out and leave on the side.
• At around the 30 minute mark, the chips should be almost done, but not quite done. I like my chips well-done, so you get nice crispy bits.
• Put some butter and oil in the pan you just did the onions in and turn up the heat, when the pan is hot when you hover your hand about 3 inches above it, put on the steak for 3 minutes… don’t turn it around when cooking, just let it cook. Then turn it over for another three minutes…. now leave it to rest on the side
• It’s now been about 45 minutes since the chips started frying, and they should be perfect now, use your own judgement as to weather they’re done or not.
• Put some kitchen paper into a bowl and take out the chips to put on top. Use something like a metal slotted spoon thinggy to get them out.
• Put it on the plate, and enjoy. Personally, the only condiments I have with this is a drop of mustard for the steak, but it seriously doesn’t need anything. That vinegar I mention in the photos is amazing on this.
• When the oil has cooled down from the chips, you can put it back into the bottle it came from, but please make sure it’s cooled down first. Never empty it down the sink, I can’t remember why, but I hear the results can be quite grim. You can use the oil again as nothing has really flavoured it
  

  Bing bang bosh, done.

The uncooked chips

Ribeye Steaks - Season well

Let the water drain from the potatoes.

Fill wok half way or less with oil

Chop up some onions

Sweat them down.

Let the oil simmer before adding chips

Such a satisfying sound - use one chips as a tester first.

Don't over-fill the wok.

Lovely onions

The best vinegar in the world - Love this stuff !

Onions. Done.

Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy - THE CHIPS ARE DONE !!!

Absolutely Perfect-e-mo

Oh man, soooooooooO0o0o0o0o0o0o Good.