Dear Generic Boy Band outside “HOBS salon” hair dressers in Southgate, North London…

I awoke today, the 25th of April in the year 2010 after a particularly bad night’s sleep. This is not normally a problem as Southgate is relatively quiet day on a Sunday. Southgate, also known as the Beverly Hills of North London, is a quaint little high street, we now welcome into a commercial fraternity the likes of a Subway, Sweet Shop, Sushi’n'Bento and various other shops. The worst noise pollution I’m used too is the occasional drunken ramble at night, and someone picking up their precious little darling by honking their horn constantly instead of phoning them. We also get the “Ru’boy” SLASH “Mama’s Boy” blaring their very angst rap or R&B (note; Rhythm and Base, not Rhythm and Blues) at the highest base volume their Honda Accords will go.

Today is a different day though, we’re treated to a lovely concert by a generic boy band of hair dressers outside “Hobs” in “Southgate”. They’ve been playing the same generic “Wooo-ooohhh, girl you are my world, girl, you are my life, girl, you are…. woohhh ohhh” music over and over for the last 3 hours. Looking as bored as can be, with their entire family there whooping and holla’ing with each and every heterosexual-affirming “wooh” that can be. It’s almost funny watching the rather camp guy in a Primark prance and mince about begging for donations for the Great Ormond Street Hospital, which is a good cause, I admit. I mean, it’s children, who are sick, and are children, who are ill, and are young (being children), so we can all bung this on our UCAS forms telling the world how ‘we’ collected in excess of £100 for charity, maybe. I got to give the mincing chugger* credit, he’s really enthusiastic. I won’t be crude about is obvious lack of male reproductive organ in his life (both his own and others (well, aside that remark)), and instead focus on his good points. The poor lad probably sweeps hair, is maybe the “Hobs Salon of Southgate” owner’s son, or maybe a little brother of the very bored looking professional singer (they’re professional now, this being a paid gig, of which they’ve donated their funds to charity, a worthy cause, the Great Ormond Street Hospital (for the kids, who are ill, sick children, poor sick orphan sick deprived children who are sick and ill and children)).

The following is a sign I didn’t have the guts to put up to begin with, but as the day draws on, I’m more and more tempted

I’ve also Recorded a video of them, for your enjoyment. To be fair to them, the crowd is bigger now, all their loyal fans have turned up, both of them plus family and staff who I can only presume are being forced to join in.

If you wish to give money to the Great Ormond Street Hospital, they have a charity set up here: clicky click click, I’m sure you can think up a way better than “Hobs Southgate Salon” that doesn’t massively feed egos of failing wanna-be boybands and wanna-be Pineapple Studio fanboys.

There is a press-photographer there to photograph this selfless act for the children, who are sick, and are children, that are…etc.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to listen to some thrash metal music band to counter-balance the beige in my ears right now.

* Charity Mugger.