Forests in films: DULL.
I can’t relate to films based in forests. I find them dull, Generally they’re walking around and it’s tree after tree after tree. There is no change in scenery, except maybe a tent or a tavern or something like that. The more forest scenes, the more boring it is. There are a few exceptions, Jurassic park was mostly forest based but that was OK because they’re dinosaurs.
And I liked that “The Forth Kind” film, but why would aliens come down to kidnap people in a remote town? I guess if they didn’t want everyone knowing that they’re about, then it would be a good idea to pick some outback remote village in the middle of a forest, but then again, why don’t they kidnap some people in a place with even less chance of someone dobbing them in? They could kidnap some people in a tribe in a remote part of Africa as much as they like and nobody would blab about their existence. Or maybe they want people to blab, so wouldn’t it be best if they kidnap people from the middle of New York?
Lord of the rings was the dullest films I’ve ever seen. The first one I went too at the pictures with my friends because we were all like “FUCK YEAH, ORKS”, the second one I went to at the pictures ‘cus this time they promised me a huge battle with orks and monsters, but I feel asleep at the ‘walking through a forest’ bit. So that’s a total of 6 hours of my life wasted watching people walk through a forest. I wasn’t prepared to take the risk with the third one. They might as well filmed the whole thing in Trent Park ‘cus it all looked the same to me. Every now and then they were in fields, which are basically forests with even less hiding space.
The Blair Witch Project, from what I remember, was another boring forest film, the only exciting bit was when they were in a house.
I watched that ‘Avatar’ film the other day, that had a lot of forest bits, but that’s OK because it’s fake forest with neon everywhere. It felt a lot like one of those paintings you see at places like Camden where the paint a planet or some wolves where when you hold it under a black-light. I really like them, but I know people who like art don’t like them, they’re considered on par with Comic Sans and Auto tune. I think if Lord of the Rings had more neon lights, and space ships, I would enjoy it quite a bit more.
I don’t see why people live in places like this, little houses in the middle of nowhere, what do they do when they run out of fags or fancy a mullar light at 3 in the morning? I was in Waltham forest about 6 months ago and we were driving through a forest. Out of nowhere there was a house that someone lived in. If I lived there I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere ‘cus I don’t drive and no buses or trains are near by. It must cost them a fortune to get a cab home after a few drinks. Plus, in the films I’ve seen, they would be a prime candidate for aliens, ghosts or axe murders; It’s just asking for trouble.
My friend was saying that I’m talking rubbish about there being nowhere to hide in a forest, he cited the tail of Robbin Hood, but I disagree. In a forest, if you get a mile square of room, and then get the same mile square in an urban place, there would be plenty more places to hide in an urban setting…. here is a transcript of the conversation.
…. Rosie is in the pink, and I’m in the blue. Tone is a mate she’s copy’n'pasting from.
why dont you like forest films again?
i was telling tone
but all i could think of
was lord of the rings
they’re always hiding but you can’t hide in a forest, it’s just trees, they ain’t like walls
and give me some examples
Blair Witch Project
Lord of the rings, the first one where they hide behind under that ditch when the horses come along…. it’s a shit hiding place, they should base it in a city where you can hide properly
you mental
Tone says
clearly he’s never been in a forest
forests are the best places for hiding
Tone says
case in point
robin fucking hood
You need branches to clime up, and when the branches start half way up, then how did they get up there? It’s not like they’re walking around with ladders
I used to play a game called "Man Hunt" in my local woods, it was shit in Oakwood park ‘cus there were like 20 meters worth of trees eaither side of the main path… it was to small. And it was shit in Trent Park because it was too big and no one kept to the boundries and you could see everyone ‘cus it wasn’t thick enough
Case in point: The only good forest based films are ones with aliens
Tone says
also
robin hood and his crew didn’t live in trees like fucking ewoks
hahaha
im fucking lol’ing here
And they must have been waiting for days up there, people only went along those paths like every now and then, it’s not like the M25 that’s always got traffic. 20:25
There are a few exceptions to the rules, I liked jurassic park
